Saturday, May 10, 2008

Annoying hairs

Not only have I gained about 10 (to 15) pounds since stopping chemo, which makes my pants very hard to pull up over my thighs and button around my middle, I seem to be growing hairs on my face. I add the weight and the face hair to my growing list of either chemo or age-related side effects, which includes a new and severe curl on the right side of my head.

I have long reveled in the joy of not really having to trim a mustache like my sister (I won't say which one) has to do. She says she has to; I never really see hair growing out of her face, but that's probably because she catches it before it's braid-able. As we age, women have to use magnifying mirrors to put on our makeup, penciling the eyeliner straight across our wrinkly eyelids, hoping the amount of blush we put on does not make people want to honk our noses.

This magnifying mirror comes with many disadvantages. It shows all. I have a large magnifying mirror and a tiny 10X one suctioned to it for the above stated purposes. The large 5X one merely allows me to apply base makeup. The 10X is for details. I had laser surgery (lasik) on my eyeballs several years ago, which makes the seeing up close problem even worse. Blind people can take off their glasses and see fine up close. I, however, am up to about 225 on the reading glasses scale.

This 10X mirror is showing me that I am growing a beard and mustache. Now it's not a heavy black beard, but that's only a matter of time, I'm sure. My biggest fear is when I'm in the nursing home and my long hairs grow and grow because I have no children to diligently pluck them out every week. Having children might have advantages when you reach a certain old age. My other nursing home fear is, of course, about the bathroom. The aides will either set me down and watch and wait, in which case, I'll never be able to go. Or they will leave me there for hours, forgetting about me through breakfast and lunch. I think I would prefer that. At least I would be on the toilet as my diuretics take effect.

Back to the hairs. These hairs are also growing out of my nose. (Am I making myself sound attractive?) I'm plucking and cutting now, but I guess I'll have to move to waxing. Does this mean that I will forever be in the clutches of a waxing parlor, always looking for one when I'm on international trips or long domestic vacations. You've heard of the new Web site for locating bathrooms? I might start one for waxing parlors.

The question is: is this all about menopause? My mother can't remember much about it so I have no one to inform me about its perils.

Aren't women lucky? No wonder we ate the damn apple. We deserved it. (And we were Starving!)


Terri said...

My mother doesn't know how to post a comment, but this e-mail she sent me last night is perfect for the comment section. So I'm posting it for her. She'll never even know.

"Daddy just got on and printed off your last blog this afternoon. I'm sorry about all your hair growing. I have quite a bit I have to cut off and pluck. Remember to take care of it for me if I get too old to take care of it myself. I remember Mother telling me not to let some long hairs on her chin grow, and sure enough when she was in her casket, I had to get them to cut off a hair. So you can see it has been a long time family problem. Love, Mother"

Norman said...

so glad your colonoscopy was clear. I grew up as a Lutheran in southern Wisconsin and now I see you are managing editor for Lutheran Woman: fantastic. Thank you for your transparency through difficult times. Go ahead and invest in an electric nose hair trimmer and wait until they grow out long enough so the trimmer makes a satisfying grinding, clipping sound like a lawn mower. You'll feel very productive.

Anonymous said...

Hey Terry,

So glad you are doing ok, you know your old friends at work in Nashville, are still keeping up with you and Bob! Since I'm so much older than you, (right at 4 months), all I can tell you is that I'm fighting the excess hair everyday too! It's awful and from what my doctor says, it's mostly menopausal, and unless you've got lots of extra $, for laser removal, etc., we've got to live with it!! Exciting right!! Just wanted to say hi, and since you were talking about a subject I'm dealing with daily, thought I'd respond for a change! Hope you and Bob have a great summer (or that it at least quits snowing on you)! Love, Janet

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