Monday, May 9, 2011

The report: I'm good

See post below. Only one little polyp and NO nausea from the anesthesia (which I cannot spell and must look up in spell check every time). This is the first time I have not been sick after going under, even twilight. My day improved at 10 a.m. when I got home from the hospital. I had a long nap, result of anesthesia, ate Triscuits toasted with cheese, Yum, and some edamame, and after 12 hours, the time allowed, had a French martini. (With my fish sticks and green beans.) Then, I fell asleep on the couch watching a BBC production of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. I have to say, she's actually better than Jane Austen. In my opinion. Even though I conked out. It wasn't her fault.

So I'm good. And I'm glad.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tomorrow is my colonoscopy...

and so today I am spending a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I am a terrible faster. The thought of going without food makes my hands shake and my lips quiver. Bob had his colonoscopy Friday, and breezed through the no-food regimen on Thursday.

He didn't even bother eating the allowed clear foods. I said, "You can have broth and yellow jello and apple juice and see-through popsicles." And he says, "Why bother, that's not even food. I'll just drink water." And he did. While I snuck down to the basement and ate my dinner.

Here I am, at 10:06 a.m.--about 21 hours to go--with a gurgling stomach and thoughts of nachos and cheese and olives and crackers. I've already had a glass of apple juice, and now I'm thinking about brunch, chicken broth. But then what will I have for lunch? Chicken broth, I guess. And a lime popsicle. Dinner? Apple juice, chicken broth, a lime popsicle. Oh and a gallon of (see-through) Gavilyte-G solution. It's purpose: to make me see-through.

But you know what. You know what I blocked out of my mind since my last colonoscopy three years ago? I had to give up anti-inflammatory drugs five days before the procedure. So I have been without my Ibuprofen and Diclofenac Sodium since Wednesday, a staple of my diet. Clearly, I am always doped up because I had no idea so many of my body parts hurt.

But you know what else? I'm alive, by golly. My CT scan in March was clear and if I get away from my procedure tomorrow with only a few polyps snipped off and the dreaded nausea that accompanies any anesthesia I undergo, twilight or total knockout, then I'll feel lucky. Luckier than Bob who had a couple of polyps and a spot that must be biopsied and possibly removed later, which means he'll have to starve himself another day (and drink another gallon of colon cleanser.)

But as for me. Right now, I'm off to have my Mother's Day brunch.